A common theme for me has been trying to create some kind of balance between them all.
A week, day or sometimes even a whole month i’ll be focused on making and nothing else. my mind a river of make make make, form form form, material material material, experiment. etc… an expression of creativity personified, Ideas flowing freely. Then theirs the flip side, more like a trickle as if all the energy , motivation and ideas to make are all but dried up. my mind, body and spirit parched of it’s once surging river teeming with life.
This is why somethings are late being posted, why some ideas are only taken to a few stages of development. Another factor that cannot be ignored is the internet, like all drugs it can be misused, whenever access to the internet has been limited, ive found the balance of productivity and depression seem to become less like mountain and ocean floor and more like the surrounding rolling hills of the Yorkshire dales. and yet like any drug there is an immense lure, the battle is sometimes won, sometimes lost. so i often wonder, should i somehow be drastic in my approach and create the environment in which limited access to the internet is limited.? will this help restore a balance? ultimately I think depression and the internet can be a bad mix, making the transition from the valleys of depression to the peaks of creative energy that much slower.
seeing other makers from the outside can make me envious of there shear productivity. Making me Curse my depression like the black dog it is and yet in a way perhaps it’s played an important part in making me someone who questions deeply almost anything I become involved in i wonder?
so what am i trying to say….?
i guess i’m wondering if other makers have these issues or anything similar? and if so how do they move towards the balance of undulating rolling hills and away from the peaks and sea beds.?
perhaps i’m just trying to share and get these thoughts out. Or maybe its because i’ve recently been involved in an attack whilst riding my bike and i’m unable to get out and make or even collect wood that’s prompted this blog post. What I do know is it’s feels right to be writing it and sharing and that’s more than enough of a reason and no more of an analysis is required at this point.
Finally if any other maker has any tips or tools which help lift them from stagnation to flowing stream, please do leave me a comment and I will happily take them on board in the future. Because a problem shared is a problem halved right?
Thank you for taking the time to read
big luv to everyone….
It’s a serious struggle.. don’t feel alone. It’s good for others that you share what you have to deal with in your life, I too have to deal with a similar thing. I see it as a journey you have fun times and not so fun times, be gentle on yourself when you are on the sea bed it’s really not your fault. I guess we can’t be creative and up and happy etc all the time or we would be exhausted, maybe take time to think about what you have achieved. Or go out for a walk not looking for wood.. I look upon the internet as a business tool, and I’m use it to spread the word of what I’m doing. We are all individuals and there’s not one person like anyone else out there, don’t compare yourself with what others are doing.. do your own thing, and perhaps what you are looking at is very edited and gives the impression everything is perfect.. and it’s not so.. they may be having the same struggles as us.. mental health is incrediblely misunderstood .. I wish more people would read about it, understand it and speak out about it.. take care of yourself.
All my adult life I’ve had periodic struggles with depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder and attention deficit disorder (no hyperactivity to speak of). They are real issues with, it seems, at least partially physical (biochemical) roots. At times I have worked with therapists, taken medicine, and done plenty of mindful self care – – all with some success.
These issues feel to me like they’re entwined with my creativity, and I sense you feel the same yourself. So I do my best not to be sorry that I have these traits (though when things are bad, it’s very tempting!).
Besides, or in addition to, professional help, two things I do that have helped me are getting lots of aerobic exercise and keeping a daily journal as described in Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way, a wonderful book about healing your artistic side. Obviously we’re all on our own paths so what works for me might not be nearly so helpful to you.
So let me leave by saying: I recognize what you’re talking about, I share a similar experience, and I think you’re seeing it for what it is.
ps) as a Dillon I like that my name and your nom de plume have a common origin. My father’s name is Dan, so he’s got the whole works!
Whew! Yeah, I have some anxiety, made worse by winter. I am lucky, in some ways, that I do not depend on my craft for a living. It let’s me explore ideas, spend the time I want on a project, etc… looking outside myself helps. Both with craft and with anxiety. I find inspiration everywhere, but particularly architecture. People have been applying art to building for centuries.